BazSimon Oneshots
by RoughSeas00
Summary: A compilation of one shots of Baz and Simon from Carry On. Some are different ways of them getting together, some are moments in their relationship. Enjoy!
1. Dog Days

Baz hated dogs. It wasn't that he was scared of them, or had some tragic backstory about getting attacked; he just didn't like them. He didn't care to admit it but in his first weeks of craving blood he killed his neighbors old dog, Dracula. If he hadn't felt so terrible about it he probably would have stopped to laugh at the irony. From then on he had an even stronger dislike for dogs; simply because they reminded him of hard times. So, when Simon suggested that they go down to the kennels to see puppies, Baz was not on board. At first. And Simon did _the thing_. It was like he morphed into a small child who had mastered the art of begging; except with more kissing. He let his curls fall in front of his face and glanced up at Baz with large, well, puppy eyes, for lack of a better word. He stepped forward and grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers in a way Baz would never tire of.

"Come on, Baz," he whispered, subtly moving closer, "just for me?" Baz forced himself to step backwards.

"You know I hate dogs, Snow. Why don't we go to that bakery place?" Simon closed the distance again and came so close that when he spoke his words tickled Baz's lip. Baz sucked in a breath and Simon grinned; he was winning.

"As much as I enjoy watching you lick cookie frosting off your lips," he slid his finger across Baz's mouth, earning another gasp. "I think I would rather watch puppies licking your face. Plus, maybe you like dogs now and just don't know it. You haven't seen a dog in years." Baz, still reeling from Simon touching him, just sighed. All of their arguments ended like this; Simon's touch was the only thing that could distract him from bickering. He finally nodded and Simon's grin burst into a full blown smile.

"Yes!" he yelled, throwing his arms around Baz's waist, "Best vampire boyfriend ever!" Baz rolled his eyes and did his best to smother the smirk trying to take over his face. The smirk won. He returned Simon's hug and pressed a kiss to his curls. Simon looked up and his eyes quickly turned from excited to filled with something else. He tried to peck Baz on the lips, but their pecks never really stayed pecks. Baz let his hands fall to Simon's waist and tilted his head to kiss him. Simon slipped his hands into Baz's jean pockets to pull him closer.

"This is why you should always wear jeans," he muttered against Baz. Baz reluctantly pulled away and rested his forehead against Simon's. "The kennel closes at 5. If we go now we will have a whole hour." Right. Baz had forgotten about the whole dog thing. He tended to forget about a lot of things when he was kissing Simon, but he didn't really care to try and fix that.

With one last kiss to Simon's jaw he said, "Alright I'll go get ready."

Baz was tense the whole car ride over, and when Simon grabbed his hand it was practically shaking. Simon pulled into the kennel driveway and parked the car, turning to face Baz before taking off his seatbelt.

"Babe, if you're that upset about this I'm not going to force you in there. You know I never wanna hurt you," Simon said holding Baz's trembling hands in his own.

"I'm not scared," he said indignantly, "it's just that one time. Well. You're gonna hate me, Si."

"That's ridiculous. I hated you for 7 years and it didn't work. Only love now." He leaned across the seat and pressed his lips quickly against Baz's.

"Ok, well we will see if you still feel this way after my story. Right after I hit puberty and started craving blood I had no where to go. I was so hungry, Si, it was excruciating. I couldn't think straight...I wasn't thinking straight. And the neighbor's dog was right there, and it was an old thing, probably only had a couple years left." Simon figured it out before Baz said it and screwed his eyes shut. But he squeezed Baz's hands to tell him to keep going. "I went over there and I hit him in the head with a rock. It knocked him out cold. It was fast, I tried to make it fast, I swear. I didn't want him to hurt, I just needed blood, and it was better than killing his owner. And then I drank. Ever since then every time I see a dog I feel like it knows what I did. It's stupid, I know. " Simon's eyes were still shut but he opened them when Baz stopped talking.

"Baz, that's the least stupid thing I've heard. I accidentally killed a baby bird once and I felt terrible. I can't even imagine what you had to go through," He leaned across the seat enough so that Baz could lean his head against his shoulder. "Let's just go home."

"No. I want to go in. I can't avoid them forever, I might as well do this now while you're with me."

"Ok, good. Now as much as I love you leaning on me like that, sitting in the seat like this is making me cramp in muscles I didn't know I had." Baz snorted and got out of the car.

Baz trembled and complained all the way to the puppy room, but the second they went in everything changed. It's not that there was some big moment when Baz saw the fuzzy creatures and fell in love. No. Baz wasn't even looking at the dogs. Instead, he was staring at his boyfriend, his best friend, the man who made him smile, _his _chosen one. The way his eyes lit up when they walked in to the room touched Baz in a place that only Simon could. Simon had made Baz so happy the past few years and Baz wanted so badly to return the favor. So, the decision had been made before Baz had even set eyes on the puppies; they were getting a dog.

"Simon," Baz said, poking his distracted boyfriend in the shoulder.

"Hm?"

"Let's get one." At this Simon's head snapped up momentarily distracting him from the tiny creature trying to lick his face.

"_What?_ " he whisper yelled, eliciting an eye roll from his boyfriend.

"You heard me, Snow. Let's get a dog. We've got plenty of room and the apartment manager allows pets. You obviously love them and I guess they aren't _all _that bad. So let's just get one."

After a few long seconds of Simon staring at him in disbelief, his face split into a blinding smile and he was on his feet in a fraction of a second. He threw his arms around Baz's neck and jumped so his legs were wrapped around his waist, his face buried in his neck. Baz stumbled back with the impact of the surprisingly heavy boy, but recovered quickly enough to press a kiss to Simon's curls before gently removing him from his torso.

"I'm gonna take that as a yes." He said, not even bothering to try and hide his excitement. Simon checked to make sure the room was empty, besides the dogs of course, before kissing Baz hard right on the lips. Baz grunted in surprise before quickly returning the gesture. He gently pushed Simon backwards until he was pressed up against a kennel, and then lifted him up to sit on it. Simon's laugh was swallowed by Baz as he grabbed the back of Simon's neck and pulled him even closer. Had they not been in a puppy kennel, the make out session definitely would have intensified, but instead they were interrupted by something small and wet against Baz's ankle. Baz pulled back from a dazed Simon and looked down in surprise to see a small black and white puppy licking the skin between his jeans and his sock.

Simon snickered and pressed one last kiss to Baz's cheek before hopping off the kennel, "I think we found someone else who likes you in jeans, Baz." Baz chose to ignore the comment, instead opting to lean down and scoop up the puppy. He held the dog awkwardly away from him and laughed.

"Simon look, he has your eyebrows!" he said, getting as close to giggling as he could. The small puppy did indeed have two blonde patches right above his eyes that looked remarkably like Simon's brows. Simon just chuckled and took the dog out of Baz's arms and into his own; Baz didn't know how to hold the puppy correctly and the poor thing looked extremely uncomfortable.

The little dog squirmed around in Simon's arms and poked his head up to give him a slobbery kiss. Baz laughed.

"So, he likes me in jeans and he likes kissing you," he said, pressing his lips against the puppy's head and then Simon's, "I'd say we've found our match." Simon's smile gave him all the answer he needed.


	2. Simon Snow Gets Sconed

**Baz**

I stare down at my bagel and try to ignore the laughter coming from Snow and his friends. I told myself I wasn't going to let myself look at him anymore, but it's like his blond curls are imprinted on the back of my eyeballs. His lips that are light pink and thin and to many I'm sure they're perfectly average, but for me they're just so _him._ Obviously I have a dirty crush on the boy I am destined to hate. I've stopped trying to deny that it exists and now I'm trying to just stomp it out. It's proving to be quite difficult. I hate the thoughts I have about him and I try to turn that into hate for him, but, well, to put it quite frankly, it's not working. When I finally drag my thoughts away from the annoying gorgeous wanker, I realize I'm staring right at him. Bunce says something and Snow throws his head back in laughter. I never make him laugh like that. I just can't take this today. Normally I have a much better handle on my infatuation, but I was out late last night trying to find food in the catacombs and the exhaustion is making me think things I normally smother. I jump up and hurry out of the cafeteria.

**Simon**

Baz, scones, Baz, scones, Baz, scones. I can't decide. I just saw my arch-nemesis jump up and practically sprint out of the cafeteria. And that's very suspicious; Baz never runs. So, it's obviously a great time to catch him doing something evil and prove to Penny and Agatha that he's bad news. But. My plate is piled high with steaming raspberry scones, slathered in butter. Quite possibly the best part of Watford. Agatha insists that instead of being killed by the Insidious Humdrum I'm going to die of blocked arteries from over consumption of butter, but it's so delicious that I really can't be bothered to care. Anyway. The million dollar question; Baz or scones? Before I can make my decision I see Baz strut back into the room, as if he didn't just dart out several minutes prior. Huh. Must of been a bathroom emergency. Perfect! I turn my mind back to my scones.

**Baz**

I take a couple of moments in the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face and collect myself before heading back to the cafeteria. I stride back in with my confident facade in place on my face to dissolve any gossip about my sudden departure. My plan was to head straight back to my table without a glance at Snow, but, of course, I fail miserably. I glance over to see the blithering idiot staring at his plate of butter-covered scones as if he wants to take them to bed. For a fleeting moment I am painfully envious of a breakfast pastry and decide that this is the lowest point of my life. Before I've registered what my hands are doing the scone has left my hand. I watch in horror as the parcel nails Snow in the back of the head. I hadn't even realized that I had picked it up. I'm such a fool. Snow whips his head around to face me, his golden curls flopping in his face. He quirks an eyebrow at me and I shoot him a glare before storming out.

**Simon**

I cannot believe it. Did Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch just assault me with a _scone?_ He just used the sacred food of the gods as a _weapon? _And then had the nerve to storm out as if nothing happened? I use my hand to swipe the crumbs out of my hair and turn back to face Penny and Agatha who are staring at me in shock.

"Did he just..." Penny stutters. This may be the first time I've seen her at a loss for words.

"I think he _did_," Agatha finishs, looking equally as flabbergasted. They both stare at me for a good thirty seconds before I realize I'm expected to do something.

"I guess I'll uh...just go...talk to him?" I ask. Because honestly I'm not sure exactly what the correct reaction is to your enemy chucking breakfast foods at you. I stand up and walk out trying not to focus on all the curious eyes on my back. I manage to get to the door without making a fool of myself and head to the bathroom. I walk in and see Baz washing his hands. I stand there for a second before he realizes I'm here.

"Bloody hell, Snow," he barks, "Why do you insist on sneaking up on people like that?"

**Baz**

"Jeez what are you doing, following me? Is being my roommate just not enough for you? We're gonna spend bathroom time together now, too?" I snap. I just wish he would leave. Instead, he just stands there looking all awkward and uncomfortable and absolutely adorable.

"Er...Baz...you do realize that you just chucked a scone at my head, yeah?" he says, stuttering over his words like he does every time he gets flustered. I don't even attempt to dampen my eye roll; this absolute failure of a wizard deserves it.

"No, _Snow,_" I reply, letting sarcasm flood my words, "I hadn't realized that." He scrunches up his face and I struggle to keep a smirk off my face; he is _mad_.

**Simon**

I can not believe him. Can. Not. Believe. Him. What is his _deal? _First he sprints out of the cafeteria, then he chucks a scone at me, and now he's being a total jerk. Well, the last one is to be expected. It's the first two that have me nervous. The more he talks, the angrier I get. I know we don't like each other, but is it really necessary for him to treat me like this? I snap. I close the distance between us with a few strides and shove my hands against Baz's chest until his back is against the wall. On a normal day I would have never been able to do this but between my fury and Baz's surprise I manage to pin him against the wall. His eyes widen in shock and something else that I would like to call fear. And then the moment ends. He smirks and grabs my hands in order to flip me around so now I'm the one backed up against the wall. He looks down at me, his black hair swinging in front of his face and I get the insane urge to move it out of the way. So, I do. It's true what they say; anger makes people crazy. Never before would I have even imagined touching Baz's hair, but now here I am doing it. The third craziest thing of the day. Now for the fourth. I swear Baz's eyes _soften_. Which is a word I have never contemplated using to describe anything about Baz. But here we are. Me pushed up against a wall, my hand still hovering by his ear where I tucked back his hair, and Baz's black eyes shining with not anger, but something else.

**Baz**

What the hell is this man _doing _to me? This incompetent little piece of dumbassery just swept my hair behind my ear. We are supposed to be enemies, what is he trying to accomplish? And then I do it. I push my mouth against his. I thought being jealous of a pastry was a low point, but this is worse. My dad already hates that I'm queer and now here I am sucking face with our family's sworn enemy. But then again, how could I _not_? He was standing there in front of me, sparkling eyes peeking up through golden curls and touching my hair. What else could I do?

**Simon**

He's kissing me. His lips are on mine and his hand is in my hair and my hand is on his cheek and I'm kissing him back. I'm kissing him.

**Baz**

He tastes like scones with butter and I'll be damned if that's not my new favorite meal.

**Simon**

I'm kissing him. I'm not pulling away. I'm not disgusted. I'm kissing _Baz_.

**Baz**

He's kissing me back. Bloody hell, Simon Snow is kissing me back. His hand is resting on my cheek beside where he just touched my hair. My fingers are tangled in his curls like I have wanted for so, _so, _long, and Snow is kissing me back.

**Simon **

The door to the bathroom swings open to reveal a stunned first year looking at us in utter shock. Baz whips around while also somehow managing to pull me closer to him.

"Get. Out." he growls. The poor kid turns around and scurries away. Baz turns back to me, his hands resting on my hips. I can feel all the blood rush to my face and the way his thumb is making patterns on my hip is distracting me so much I can't speak. I just stand there and look at him. I just kissed him. We just made out in the bathroom and I didn't want it to stop. But now he's looking at me, just staring at me, his fingers slipping into the belt loops on my pants. I clear my throat.

"I want to...uh..." my voice cracks and I picture throwing myself into the lakes to feed myself to the creatures waiting to swallow me up. Baz's lips, lips that I just kissed, flick up into a smirk.

What do I do, what do I do, what do I do? I remove my hand from his (very nice) cheekbone and self-consciously rub the back of my neck. Baz furrows his brows and removes his hands from my hips. This is the most awkward I have ever seen him look.

"That was...bonkers?" I try, hating myself even more. Who uses _bonkers_ after kissing someone? Not just someone. Baz.

"Bonkers, Snow, bonkers?" he says, full on grinning now. "That was freaking amazing." And then yet another crazy thing happens. Baz steps back and looks _nervous_. Never in all of my years of being his roommate has he ever looked this vulnerable.

"At least, I thought it was," he murmured, "amazing, that is". I just stare.

**Baz**

Well, it's official. I have broken Simon Snow. He's just standing there. Staring at me like, well, like his life long enemy just kissed him. And I don't quite know what to do. Because the truth is, Snow was right. That was absolutely bonkers. I have to do it now. I just have to tell him because if I let him go without telling him I'm never gonna forgive myself later.

"Look, Snow, I mean Simon," he blanched at hearing his name, "I like you. We're enemies, you think I'm trying to kill you and that I hate you and I should, but I can't Snow, because you make it so hard. That kiss wasn't impromptu for me. I've been imagining that, _hoping_, for that since fifth year. I like you. And I get you don't feel the same so I'll pull some strings and we can finally switch roommates. OK? OK."

With one last shuddering breath, I turn around and start to walk away.

**Simon**

Wait, what?  
What?  
Where is he going? Before I can think about it I reach out and grab his wrist.

"You're just gonna leave after saying all that? Do I not get to even respond to that?" I snap, in disbelief. He slowly turns around and looks down at my hand gripping his wrist. I let it go.

"I figured you wouldn't have anything to say," Baz whispers, obviously trying to hide the hurt in his voice. And then I know. Because the second I hear the pain in Baz's voice, I want it to stop. I am a blind, freaking idiot. All this time I've spent trying to chase Baz out of my life, I never realized that I would be completely lost without him. And now this. Baz likes me. He likes me. And I like him. I don't trust myself to say all this without stuttering or my voice breaking, but it's true. So true that it hurts. I grab his hand.

His eyes widen in surprise and he raises his eyebrows at me.

"What are you doing, Snow?"

"I'll be damned if I know." And then I swear I must be dreaming because Baz laughs. His face splits into a grin, and he lets out a laugh that for once isn't aimed cruelly at me. And it's so perfect, and I never want it to stop. I pull him forward and wrap my arms around him. Because, yeah. I like him, too.

**Baz**

He's not running away. He's not screaming at me or looking at me in disgust. He's grabbing my hand and joking and he's hugging me. I let my head rest on top of his and put my arms around his back, pulling him closer.

"Hey, Snow," I murmur.

"Hm?" he replies, the vibration of his response tickling my chest.

"You wanna go out with me? We can get scones." He whips his head up so fast that he cracks the bottom of my jaw with the top of his head. His face flushes and before he can even began to apologize profusely I shut him up with a kiss. It works brilliantly.

When he pulls away he says, "Yeah. But I won't forget I was promised scones."

I grin and pull him close to me again.

**Simon**

As I'm kissing Baz for the third time I can't help but think that I'll never have to pick between Baz and scones again. 


	3. Simon Snow and the Laughing Gas

**(a/n) i have never had my wisdom teeth out or had laughing gas so if something doesn't really make sense, i apologize. enjoy! **

**Baz**

I can't believe this. Snow has asked me to accompany him on a quest. Penny is hanging out with her human boyfriend and Snow and Agatha are in some type of spat, like always. And apparently the greatest mage to ever live, future savior of our world, only has two friends before he has to come begging to me. His arch nemesis (and secret admirer but that's beside the point). Now where are we going you may ask? On this all important quest that the greatest mage needs a partner for? The dentist. I am driving Simon Snow to the dentist because he has to get his wisdom teeth out and apparently he needs a chaperone. At first I told him to just spell them out but he said something about a ban and the great teeth massacre of 1918. I wasn't really listening anymore at that point because I couldn't hear over the rushing sound of panic and fury in my head. It was bad enough having to live with him and constantly pretend to hate him, but now I have to be his personal driver? I can't do this. But at the same time what choice do I have? Deep down I know I could never turn down an opportunity to hang out with Snow no matter how much I know I should.

**Simon**

It's not like I _want_ him to come with me. I'd much rather have Penny come with me or even Agatha at this point, especially when he's acting like such a prat. But I would feel terrible tearing Penny away from her boyfriend especially when she only gets to see him every few months, and I refuse to break mine and Agatha's silent treatment before she does. So here I am sitting in a beat up old car next to a fuming vampire. On our way to the bloody dentist. I really want to ask Baz if vampires have to get their wisdom teeth out but even I know that would make this situation worse.

**Baz**

He sits there beside me silently, fidgeting with the fraying fabric on the edge of the seat. I'm trying my best to look pissed and like I'm sitting with my enemy not my secret crush. He looks scared, so it must be working. We finally make it to the dentist's office, a small, beige building with a sign that reads "The Tooth Fairies".

"Seriously, Snow?" I balk. Everyone knows tooth fairies are viscous little demons. Who would want to go to a dentist named after them?

He just scowls at me and snaps back, "They're the cheapest place I could find that doesn't require any proof of insurance".

I just roll my eyes; him and his refusal to use magic to do these ordinary Normal things never ceases to annoy me.

"Alright," he says, unbuckling his belt and opening the door, "I should be done in an hour. I'll be on anesthetic so the nurse will walk me out. You can wait here."

"Absolutely not," I reply, "There's no way I'm sitting out here in the cold while you get all the drugs". He rolls his eyes and slams the door and I barely suppress my smile of adoration. He's so cute when he's angry.

**Simon**

Of course he insists on coming in with me. Because, as per usual, he has to make his existence as complicated and as difficult as possible for me. No surprise there. He struts in behind me looking ridiculously out of place in his suit. I watch from the reception desk as he folds himself into a chair and looks around, smug and bored. I check in with the lady at the desk, going through the usual process of uncomfortably avoiding questions about insurance and other Normal things that I don't have. The lady (Amy according to her name tag) is sweet and seems used to customers who are a little sketchy although she keeps shooting looks back at Baz. Either she has a little fancy for him (he does have some attractive features before you get to know him) or she's wondering why he's dressed to the nines for a dentist appointment.

"You guys make a cute couple," she comments as she hands back my papers.

Apparently she was thinking something else entirely. If Baz heard that little remark my life is over.

"Oh we aren't actually together," I stammer, trying desperately to keep my voice out of Baz's super hearing earshot, "he's just a friend. More of an acquaintance, really."

Amy doesn't seem convinced and this is the first time I've seriously considered trying to spell a Normal, despite the possible consequences.

"You just keep telling yourself that, sweetie. But I know the look boys get in their eyes when they are in love and that man over there is stricken with you. No way around it."

I'm suddenly hyper aware of the heat of Baz's stare on my back. I chuckle awkwardly, nervously crumpling my papers in my hands. I thank her for the advice that I really did not want and skitter back to the waiting area. I plop down in the seat next to Baz and try to gauge his reaction to see if he heard our conversation without actually looking at him. It doesn't work.

"Snow, what the bloody hell are you doing, trying to look at me without turning your head. Your eyes are crossing over themselves and you look utterly ridiculous."

I snap my eyes forward and huff, not bothering to dignify his observation with a response.

**Baz**

Of course I overhear Simon's conversation with the reception lady. He acts like him whispering while five feet away from me will somehow stifle my powers. News flash, Snow, I can hear a dog breathing from 50 yards away. Bloody idiot. I'm a little peeved with myself for being so obvious about my feelings that some random Normal lady so easily picked up on them but I decide to blame it on being out of Watford and putting my guards down when Snow and I are out of the loft. And, hey. Maybe I could get a little fun out of this. After all, who am I if not someone who loves to make Simon Snow uncomfortable? I scooch in my seat so I'm closer to him and casually slide my arm around the back of his chair.

"So, Snow, I couldn't help but overhear that our receptionist has a little hunch about our relationship," I say, my mouth close to his ear. I take pride from the blush that immediately covers his freckled cheeks.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Baz." he murmurs, eyes flickering up to the front desk lady who's watching us with a knowing look in her eye.

"Sure, you do. What do you say we give her something to hypothesize about, hm?" With this comment I brush my fingers over his shoulder. He twitches away from my hand; the ditz hadn't even realized I put my arm there in the first place.

"What's gotten into you?" he hisses, although he can't seem to muster as much malice in his voice as he normally can.

"Having a little fun" I whisper back.

**Simon**

What the hell does Baz think he's doing? Did he smoke something before we came in without me seeing? And what the hell is my body doing reacting like this? The second his fingers touched my shoulder and I felt his breath on my cheek my heart jumped and I thought I was going to go into respiratory arrest. And then he would have to give me mouth to mouth. What is happening? Since when do I react to Baz like this? Since he started acting like my boyfriend I suppose, but what the hell does that mean? God, I don't like him do I? All these things I'm feeling right now are the things Agatha insists I'm supposed to feel for her, but here I am feeling them for my evil vampire roommate. And my idiotic brain is deciding to make this apparent in the middle of a dentist office when I'm about to get high off my rocker on laughing gas and who knows what will come out of my mouth. Baz's arm removes itself from my shoulder and I release a breath but before I can properly relax his hand is sitting on my knee and I can't breath. I snap my head towards him only to see an infuriating smirk and that's when it hits me that he's just pretending. He's here pretending and just messing around and I'm sitting here realizing actually freaking feelings. How am I going to handle this when we get back to Watford?

"Take your hand off me, Baz" I say, doing my best to sound menacing. He leans closer to my face and I try not to change my breathing pattern.

"No."

"Simon Snow?"

Both of our heads shoot up to see a nurse standing in the doorway looking at me expectantly.

"Uh, yeah" I stammer, relieved to be out of this situation. But, before I can make my way over to where the nurse is waiting, Baz grabs my hand, jumps out of his chair and presses his lips to my cheek.

"Don't be nervous, babe," he drawls in a voice that sounds like it was soaked in artificial sweetener, "it'll be over before you know it. I'll be waiting right here to take you back home."

He winks and I can see that stupid look of superiority in his eyes, shining brighter than normal and I'm so mad at my feelings, and at him for making me feel things, and at him for not feeling the same things that I just want to do something to get the last word for once. So, I bounce up on my tip toes to reach his height, grab his face in my hands, and kiss him. I pull away after a second to see the unadulterated shock on his face and something else that I don't have time to process right now. Mission accomplished. I turn on my heel and walk towards the nurse leaving a reeling Baz behind me.

"Ah, you two must be a new couple," the nurse says as she walks me back to the operation room, "I remember when my husband and I couldn't go three seconds without kissing each other. To be young and in love, I suppose."

I laugh nervously, my confidence boost draining as I get further from Baz. "Yeah something like that." I finally say, in response to the nurse. She sets me down in the chair, places a bib over me, and lowers a mask over my face. Here we go.

**Baz**

He kissed me. That little bloody twerp went and put one right on me in front of the whole world to see. Or rather just the Normal nurse and receptionist but honestly anyone or no one could have been watching and the fact would still remain that Simon Snow has kissed me. And by Crowley my vampire heart has grown three times the size this day (Snow made me watch the Grinch last Christmas). I just need this to be over. We need to be back in our own safe little world, or I suppose not so safe but safer than here where I'm exposed emotionally. I would choose a physical threat over Snow discovering my not so little feelings for him any day. I relax as much as I can in the incredibly uncomfortable plastic chair and work on reforming my cool exterior for when Snow comes back out.

**Simon**

I THINK THERE'S A CLOUD IN MY MOUTH. The nice nurse lady wearing all pink says it's cotton, but she also says that they took my TEETH, so I am not inclined to believe her. I think she might be an evil fairy. She assures me she's not but I think being a mage makes me a little bit more knowledgeable on these topics. I inform her of this and she just nods and smiles at me. I continue to think about this possibly evil possibly fairy woman as she tells me to hold tight and wait for the doctor. I wonder if he is also an evil fairy. My tongue feels heavy and when I go to move it around my mouth, it encounters a piece of solid fluff. ALISTER CROWLEY THERE'S A CLOUD IN MY MOUTH!

**Baz**

This sure is taking a while. I've gotten myself collected but if this takes much longer I'm going to start losing it again.

**Simon**

The doctor man is not wearing pink he is wearing green and I do not think he is an evil fairy. In fact I am so certain he is a man to be trusted that I tell him of my suspicions about his nurse. He nods very seriously and I conclude that my work on this matter is done. I also tell him my head is feeling very light but also heavy and I don't think I could cast a spell if I wanted to. He thinks this is funny

"Don't you worry about that Simon, it should be cleared up in just a couple hours. Although I have to warn you your mouth will be sore for quite a while. Now, obviously you are in no condition to drive, but I understand your boyfriend is here to take care of you, is that right?"

I gasp. I have a boyfriend? I'm gay? I'm not nearly as surprised as I suspected to be. I don't want to seem dull, so I nod along and prepare to meet my boyfriend. I hope he doesn't notice the cloud in my mouth.

**Baz**

The door that they took Simon through swings open and I jump to my feet. Finally. I was beginning to think they had killed him. The nurse comes through the door with Snow leaning on her arm and I immediately know something is out of place. Simon gives me a dopey grin and giggles, stumbling away from the nurse to fall awkwardly on to me. I try to touch him as little as possible while still holding him upright.

"You must be my boyfriend." he slurs up at me. I can see the bloody cotton balls shoved into his cheeks and try to ignore the twinge in my stomach. Is the greatest mage to ever be born _high_? I look up at the nurse and raise my eyebrows.

"He's responding very strongly to the laughing gas." she says smiling sweetly as I rearrange a drooling Simon in my arms. His head lolls against my shoulder and I can feel his breath against my neck. It smells like blood and I try not to breathe through my nose.

"Ok, so uh, I'll get him home. When is he going to be, you know, normal again?" I ask the nurse who is still cooing over me holding Simon. I do my best not to roll my eyes. Snow would be so proud.

"It should wear off in a couple hours but then he's going to be in quite a bit of pain. He needs to ice it and take these pills," she hands me a bottle that I shove into my back pocket, "and of course he won't remember any of the silly thing he says, so if you need any blackmail material make sure to record." She winks at me before turning and going to chat with the receptionist. I sigh. This is going to be a long ride home.

**Simon**

My boyfriend is SOOOO hot. I can't believe that I'm dating a sexy vampire. I can't believe it's Baz. I thought he hated me, but I'm most definitely not going to remind him of that. I hug him right away when I come out of the door with the evil fairy and then my legs stop working so he holds me against him and I think I start drooling on his shoulder. Oops. After he finishes talking to the evil fairy he looks down at me and sighs.

"Alright, Snow, we need to go back to the car. Can you walk?" His voice is so deep and vampirey. If I didn't have a cloud in my mouth I think I would kiss him. I push off of him so as to impress him with my superior walking skills but I overestimate my strength and feel my knees start to buckle. His arms shoot back under me and hoist me back up. I giggle a little bit and lean on to him as we walk outside.

**Baz**

I'm busy with two tasks as we make our way through the parking lot and to my car. The first is desperately trying to keep Snow on his feet. As much as I would like to see the greatest mage eat pavement, he just had surgery, and I really don't want to go back into that cursed place. My second task is waging an internal battle upon my conscience. In a few hours Simon will have no memory of this and right now he is fully convinced that we are dating. And strangely enough he seems to have no qualms about this, which I would have expected even in his inebriated state. So, now the question is what do I do? How wrong would it be to just take these couple hours and let Snow think we're dating and play the part of his boyfriend? Haven't I suffered enough being forced to share a room with him and put on the facade of hating him? I think I have. The way he's looking up at me, leaning on my shoulder, his beautiful eyes all dopey is answer enough. Time to have some fun.

**Simon**

I flop clumsily into the passenger seat of the car and for just a second I expect Baz to make a harsh comment about it, but then I feel his long fingers card through my curls, and he presses a kiss to my forehead before buckling my seat-belt. How silly, I had forgotten we were dating again. I do my best to smile around the clouds at him and earn a small grin. He shuts my door and walks around to slide into the driver's side, much more smoothly than I did.

"Baaaaaz," I say, very excited to have a conversation now that we are away from the evil fairies.

"Snoooow," he replies, mocking me. I pout and he smirks. As per usual.

"Why didn't anyone tell me we were dating? I would have kissed you already if I had known. Instead of just daydreaming about it," I have a nagging feeling that this isn't something I was supposed to say, and judging by the look on Baz's face, he doesn't think so either.

"What do you mean daydreaming about it, Snow?" Baz says, and his voice drops a pitch. Haha. Pitch. His grasp on my hand snaps me back to the conversation.

"Nothing, not like anything at all, just that, well I get bored easily, especially when Penelope starts talking about her latest books, and sometimes, well a guy needs a break and sometimes my breaks are...well they're filled with you". At this moment, which feels somewhat monumental, the cloud decides to fly right out of my mouth and into my lap. I gasp loudly and in my surprise I slip into my Shakespeare dialect.

"THOU ART NOT A CLOUD, BUT A COTTON BALL! YOUR TEXTURE HATH FOOLED MINE TONGUE AND DECEIVED MY SOUL! THY SHALL BE PUNISHED WITH DEATH!" And with that announcement I chuck the deceiving piece of cotton out the window, only wasting a second to wonder why it's bloody.

"Damn it, Snow, we don't have any more of those, Penny is going to have to spell you now." Personally, I don't think he really comprehends the gravity of the traitorous cotton ball situation, but I keep that to myself. Instead, I burst into tears like any rational person would do upon being betrayed by a cotton ball and yelled at by their boyfriend within the span of 60 seconds.

Baz curses and swerves the car to park on the shoulder. I think that this must be the end. My vampire boyfriend has grown tired of me and he will now feast on my blood. So, I am pleasantly surprised when Baz gently cradles my face, stoops to look me in the eyes and with only the slightest bit of panic says:

"Simon, what's happened? Are you hurt? What do I do? Crowley, Basilton think, what would Penelope do, what healing spells do we use for wisdom teeth-" I'm so touched by his concern and so excited that he won't, in fact, be sucking my blood, that I pull his face towards me and slot my mouth over his, hardly registering the dull shock of pain in my jaw. His whole body immediately stiffens up and I pause thinking that I've done something wrong, but then his hands slip to my neck and he's kissing me back. And despite the fact that we're dating and have probably done this thousands of times before, this all feels wonderfully brand new. Before I know it the other cloud, nay cotton ball, has left my mouth and I only have a second to wonder where it's gone off to before Baz lurches back from (much to my disappointment) and spits, letting out a very un-Baz-like yelp.

"Crowley, Simon, what the bloody hell is that? Oh, it has blood, blood, blood, ok stay calm, stay calm, stay calm," two things run through my head as Baz continues telling me to stay calm. Firstly, I am feeling very calm and I do believe that it is Baz that needs to stay calm. Secondly, it dawns on me that I'd nearly forgotten my name was Simon due to Baz calling me Snow so often, but I do really quite like him calling be my first name. It makes my chest flutter.

When I stop thinking about all the different ways Baz makes me feel, I realize that he is no longer here to make me feel those ways because he has exited the vehicle. I stumble out of the car and away from the road.

"Baz!" I shout. Maybe the evil fairies followed us and abducted him. I thought that one was looking at him weird. Just then I see a familiar head of black, slick hair around a bush and I clumsily make my way over to him, doing my best not to trip over any sticks. For some reason, I'm feeling dizzy.

When I successfully make my way away around the bush without falling, I find Baz crouched down over a rabbit, blood dribbling down his chin. Even in my fluffy headed state I know that he shouldn't be eating small woodland creatures this close to the view of the Normals.

"What are you doing?" I hiss

"Getting the taste of you out of my mouth," he replies and I can't help but feel a little hurt. I rather liked kissing him. I would have liked to taste it again.

"No, no, Simon, not like that," I must have said that last part out loud because he quickly corrects himself, "I just, I can't have your blood in my mouth, I might, you know," he trails off but I'm lucid enough now to understand. He might bite me. Because my boyfriend is a vampire. Of course.

Baz straightens up from the corpse of the rabbit now laying on the ground (is it weird I want to have a funeral?) and turns to look at me, exasperation marring his features.

"A funeral? A funeral? I'm going to have to start calling you Snow White now, which is actually kind of fitting since you're a bloody pansy," he stalks back towards the car muttering more about this Snow White woman who really sounds quite pleasant to me, and I vow to myself to stop blurting my thoughts out. I also really wish we could go back to kissing.

I try to huff angrily back to the side of the road where Baz awaits, but I end up doing more of a scurry because his legs are so damned long.

When I slide back into my seat and Baz pulls the car back into traffic without so much as a glance in my direction, I sense a niggling in the back of my still somewhat fogged up mind that this tension is much more on par with our usual energy than the kissing and boyfriend antics.

My mouth really hurts, my vampire boyfriend won't talk to me, and I've lost both of my mouth clouds. This calls for a nap.

**Baz**

Simon Snow really had the bloody audacity to kiss me, nearly cause me to bite him, have PITY for the rabbit I killed, and now fall asleep in my car without so much as a word all in the span of 10 minutes. Unbelievable. What am I expected to do just sit here alone with my thoughts about curly honey hair and freckles? Crowley. I whip the car off the next exit refusing to let myself hear the little noise Snow makes in his sleep. I need some actual food to distract myself and I'm sure Snow could use a milkshake or whatever it is 5 year olds want after a doctor's appointment. And as much as I hate to admit, in fact this is not me admitting it at all, maybe this charade could go on just a while longer. Just until Snow comes off the drugs and realizes the whole misunderstanding. Just until we get back to Watford.

I pull into a small diner off the main road and whack my head against my headrest until Snow begins to stir.

"Where are we?" Stupid cute blurry eyes.

"I'm hungry for some real food and this place has milkshakes for you," his eyes light up at the mention of the sugary drink and mine roll around in my head. Simon Snow is such a child my attraction to him may be perverted. There's a disturbing thought.

"Come on then, the food isn't coming to us," I pop out of the car and am opening his door before he has his seat belt undone. I'm glad that the gas seems to still be having some effect on him. Either that or he's just a dimwit.

Snow gets out and stretches and I take a moment to admire my restraint. I only look at the strip of skin where his shirt rides up for half a second. And then just a little longer. We walk towards the door and I let my hand rest at the small of his back. He glances back at me and I can see the confusion in his eyes and I panic. It's too late, he's already realized. But then he gives me a dopey little grin and leans back into my hand and I let out a little huff.

We order our food, a hamburger with fries for me and a cherry shake for Simon, and then situate ourselves in a corner booth, his sneakers propped up on my knees and I'm too high on life and not caring about magic and monsters to care about the stains I'll have later.

We talk as we eat our food, mostly me making snarky remarks at everything Snow says and him laughing along with me and actually holding his own in the sarcastic rhetoric. Outside of the tensions of school and magic I can't help but think maybe we could be something. But maybe that's just the laughing gas.

As we finish our meal, Snow gingerly nibbling on fries stolen from my plate, I can tell the drugs are slowly leaving his system and I know we need to go. I don't want to leave this place. Watford is magical, but this small diner in the middle of nowhere has shown me what real magic is; it's shown me maybe this love for the Greatest Mage isn't so unrequited after all.

**Simon**

Baz is not my vampire boyfriend. I realized this when I woke up to him banging his head on the carseat and my first thought was "he's brought me here to kill me". Then everything came rushing back. Or rather, bubbling back in a sludge form due to the drugs. Laughing gas, wisdom teeth surgery, Baz driving me to the appointment. Kissing him. I was about to tell him that he didn't have to be nice anymore, that he could stop pretending, that he could stop this elaborate plot to hurt me, and we could go home now, but I wanted to see where he took this. And he said he was going to buy me a milkshake. I love milkshakes.

He put his hand on my back as we walked into the homey little diner with checkered floors and cushy booths and I almost gave myself away because now that my brain isn't a wet scone, his touch makes me jump. I'm no longer sure if it's because I'm being cautious of him or if there's something else.

He smiles at me and buys me a cherry shake without even asking which flavor I want (he's right of course, cherry is superior) and lets me put my feet on his legs. The little man in my head who screams when Baz is up to no good (Penny calls him by Plot Bot) is wailing at first but as we talk and eat he quiets down to just a dull murmur. It's the quietest he's been in a while. Baz finally clears our table but I take my time going to the bathroom and thanking the old lady who owns the diner.

I don't want to leave.

**Baz**

We're back in our room, sitting on our beds, facing each other. He must have realized by now, in fact I'm sure of it. We started the ride home from the diner still chatting, still high off of the magic atmosphere of the cozy little restaurant, our hands resting together, pinkies brushing on the console. But eventually the conversation died out and Snow rested his head against his window, content to ignore me to focus on the passing landscape. I just drove. Drove and wondered if I messed things up. Not that there was really anything to mess up anyway. It's not as if we were friends.

At some point Snow started complaining about the ache in his mouth and I tossed him the pills from the doctor that were still sitting in my pocket. I didn't want to hear about his mouth, or his face, or him. I didn't want to think about kissing him and not kissing him again.

We got back to Watford and walked back onto the campus, our hands shoved deep into our pockets. Words jumped up the back of my throat and beat against my lips and I swallowed them back down until my stomach filled up with them and I got nauseous.

And now here we are, sitting on separate beds, obviously both needing to say something otherwise Snow would have been off to find Penny by now and I would be doing Crowley knows what. Snow's legs are bouncing like the Humdrum's ball on caffeine and I finally snap.

"Bloody hell, Snow stop moving your damn legs before I stop them for you!"

His legs immediately cease moving but the abrupt stop catches up to the rest of his body and his curls give one more pathetic bounce before settling back down over his now very red face.

"Thanks for taking me today. And, uh, for the milkshake." he murmurs, the flush in his cheeks pooling around his freckles.

Now I feel like an ass. Great. I make a small attempt to make my voice just a bit warmer.

"Of course. I live to be your personal chauffeur." He smirks at me and gets up to leave and I don't know what I'm doing when I grab his hand, but maybe that's for the better.

"I had not a horrible time today, Simon," I say, tugging just a bit so he steps closer to me. He tilts his head up at me and I'm mesmerized by the way his curls fall back from his eyes.

"You sure do know how to give a compliment, Baz" he says back, but there's no bite to the bark and he's a lot closer than he was just a second ago.

"We're not dating," I blurt because if he's going to kiss me then I want it to be him and not the drugs making the decision.

"I know," and then his smile is pressed up against mine and I let my thumb rest against the dimple in his cheek and my fingers brush over his freckles, lightly so as not to brush them off.

I turn my head and go to deepen the kiss when he pulls back, so bright red I have to consciously pull my thoughts away from the blood lying just beneath his skin.

"As much as I would love to continue with the kissing," my traitorous heart skips a beat, "my mouth hurts something bad."

"Oh. Right, of course," my brain seems to have gone offline, "yes, well, I'll just well, I'll go."

I pat his shoulder, which does not feel right by any means, and go to walk out the door, but this time it's him grabbing my hand, and looking at me like I'm the dit, when it's quite clearly the other way around.

He bounces up on his toes and pecks my cheek, swinging my hand like a toddler.

"I was thinking maybe we could watch a movie?"

I grin and drag him back into our room.

"I think I can manage that. And I have just the movie for us to watch."

"Oh?"

"It's called Snow White. You're going to love it."

**(a/n) this literally took me months and i did NOT plan on it being so freaking long but i just got so carried away. also i know i probably fudged some details with the diner and the movie and stuff but it's just a fluffy oneshot so don't be too hard on me! **


	4. Birthday Boy

**(a/n) mmmmm FLUFF! This one is dedicated to GeneralBunny1 because she sent me a very encouraging Thor gif to keep writing. Enjoy!**

**Baz**

Snow and I are laying on the couch in his apartment watching Friends. I'm sitting sideways and he's settled comfortably between my legs, his head resting on my chest. I let my hand twirl through his golden curls and massage his scalp. This is pure bliss. It's been two weeks since the defeat of the Insidious Humdrum and Simon and I really only have the energy to tuck ourselves into his apartment and binge watch Netflix. So that's what we do. And I am loving it. No worrying, no hiding feelings, no classes, no fighting, just cuddling, kissing and episodes upon episodes of Friends. Like I said; bliss.

We're currently on the episode where Rachel turns 30 and freaks out and then I realize it. I am a terrible excuse for a boyfriend. I have absolutely no idea when Snow's birthday is. How could I not know this? I mean sure we've only been dating for about a month, but birthdays are basic information. I hate myself.

"Hey, Snow?" I say hesitantly, already hating my next question.

"Hm?" he mutters, turning his freckled face to look up at me. I lean down and peck him on the forehead before continuing.

"When's your birthday?" I whisper, humiliation coursing through my body. But instead of Simon's face morphing into something angry it just scrunches up like it always does when he has to explain something. He pushes up out of my lap, his warmth is immediately missed, and turns to face me. The sorrowful look on his face makes me want to wrap him up in my arms and violently murder the person who put that look there. But I can tell that what he really needs is to talk, so I settle back onto my pillow and open my ears.

**Simon**

Our afternoon was going perfectly. Sitting wrapped up in my personal vampire's arms, watching Friends, and just being, well, normal for once. And then he went and asked _that_. I know he's just trying to be a good boyfriend and I can tell he feels terrible that he doesn't know my birthday, and I appreciate that, I really do, but I don't want to talk about it. Why? Because when it comes to my birthday, his guess is as good as mine. I grew up in group homes; I can't remember a time when I wasn't being carted between locations. Even after I started going to Watford, I still had to spend summer break in the homes. I never got to find out my birthday. I'm sure it's buried somewhere deep in a file in some drawer in one of the homes, but I've never tried to hunt it down because for the longest time I resented the day I was brought into the world. Now that life is looking up and I have friends and Baz I would like to know when my birthday is but the time to find that out has passed. So, I just don't have one. That's how it's always been and that's how it'll always be; life sucks like that sometimes. As I tell Baz all this I can see his heart breaking into pieces and I hate that I have to be the cause of that. I want to comfort him, so badly, but mending someone else's broken heart is so much harder when yours is also shattered into a million pieces. So, we hold each other like our lives depend on it. He mends mine, and I mend his.

**Baz**

As Simon explains to me how he doesn't know his birthday and has never celebrated it, the hurt in his eyes nails into my heart like the proverbial wooden stake until I can hardly breathe. I want to go back in time and hold little Simon, who wished he was never born, and tell him everything was going to be OK and that I'm waiting for him in the future. But I can't. So I hold present Simon as tight as I can and tell him that I'm here now. And I'm never leaving.

**Simon**

It's been three days since I told Baz I didn't know my birthday and we cried on the couch, and now I'm getting worried. He hasn't been himself. He's been reserved and his smile isn't quite as bright. It reminds me of the days before we started dating when we holed up in our room and he plotted while I tried to figure out what he was plotting. And for once, I just can't figure it out.

**Baz**

I'm totally plotting. And when I plot I get quiet and grumpy until my plan carries through. Even if it's a totally good plan; like a birthday party for Simon. I know, I know, he doesn't have a birthday. But doesn't that technically just mean there's a chance that every day is his birthday? We might as well just pick a day. So that's what I'm doing. I've got Penny on board, too. She's doing most of the planning stuff like food, guests, decorations, and all that other stuff. My only job is to keep Simon in the dark about it, and I'm doing a terrible job. It's not like I'm being totally extra and all cheesy like in TV shows, it's just that it's hard to act normal when I'm so nervous about making his party perfect. Throwing someone's first birthday party isn't normally so stressful because they're one and have no idea what's going on, but Simon isn't a baby. I just want it to be perfect. Like him. Gross and cheesy but it's so true it hurts. I decide I have to be better at acting normal, just for two more days. For Simon.

**Simon**

I wake up to a mouthful of black hair. I spit it out and look down to see Baz's head laying on my chest, his shoulder length hair spread out like a halo, but for vampires instead of angels. I smile one of those smiles that only Baz can cause and press a kiss to his forehead. He groans and rolls over.

"Good morning sunshine," I whisper, ready to face the day.

"No." comes his muffled reply. I just smile and hop out of bed; he can't stay in bed forever...well probably not. I throw on a Harry Potter shirt that Baz bought me (he thought it was hilarious) and walk to the bathroom. As I'm brushing my teeth Baz comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Well hello there, Mr. Morning Breath" I say, making eye contact with him in the mirror. He gasps and steps back trying to smell his breath. He looks so utterly offended that I can't help but laugh.

"I do _not _have morning breath," he insists with a cute little pout.

"Right," I say sarcastically, handing him his toothbrush. He rolls his eyes.

"There's no point in brushing before breakfast, Snow," he says, refusing to take the toothbrush.

"Sure there is. Your boyfriend refuses to kiss you until you do something about your breath." He only responds with a huff and dramatically takes the brush out of my hand to swipe it over his teeth.

"Happy?" he growls. I grin and step forward to kiss him.

"Very" I whisper, letting my words tickle his cheek, before I step back. He scowls; he hates it when I tease him like that which is exactly why I do it.

**Baz**

So far, so good. We go through our usual morning banter, which is really just arguing about something dumb and then kissing. As far as I can tell he doesn't suspect anything. Penny got all hot headed with me yesterday because Simon asked her if she knew why I was acting weird and she forced me to promise that I would step up my act today. I hate because it feels like lying to him, but I just have to do it for three more hours, and I know it will pay off. I just need to get Simon out of the house for a couple hours so Penny and some of Simon's university friends can come over and set up. And I have just the way to do that. I think.

"Hey, Snow," I start as we're sitting down eating breakfast. He looks up at me expectantly. "Let's go out and do something today." He raises his eyebrows and for a second I think I've screwed up. But then he smiles.

"Sure! It'd be nice to get out of the apartment for something besides groceries. What do you wanna do?" I let out a mental sigh of relief.

"Skate," I reply. His eyebrows shoot up and I can already feel my face getting red, but I keep going. "I just. Well, I thought that's what normal couples would do for a date. Maybe not? I saw it on a movie. You know what? Forget it, it's dumb-" Simon cuts off my rambling with a hard kiss against my lips. I start to respond but he pulls away before we can get anywhere.

"That sounds _perfect, _Baz," he says and the way his eyes are glowing make my body warm in a way that isn't normally possible for vampires. His smile and his eyes and _him _make me speechless for a moment and he goes to get dressed.

**Simon**

Skating with Basilton Grimm Pitch. A year ago the idea would be absolutely laughable; honestly it's still laughable. I mean, come on. Roller skating. With a vampire, for crying out loud. I wanted so badly to just laugh my head off right there but the rare vulnerable look on Baz's face shut that down real fast. He actually really wanted to go, and honestly I'm shocked. In a very, very good way. I am going on a normal skating date with my normal (besides the whole vampire thing) boyfriend just like any other kid my age. No magic, no Insidious Humdrum, nothing. Just Baz.

**Baz**

As we get closer and closer to the skating rink I get increasingly nervous because I realize I have not thought this plan through. I do not know how to skate. I just got so excited that I had a way to get Snow out of the house that I didn't really think about the actual skating part. This is going to be nothing like the show I saw where the couple held hands and twirled gracefully around each other. No, this is going to be me falling on my face and making an absolute fool of myself. I inwardly sigh. At least it'll be a change of pace from Simon being the hot mess.

**Simon**

I have absolutely no idea how to skate. I was just so happy that Baz wanted to go out that it slipped my mind. The closest I've gotten to skating is when some kids from the group home found an old skateboard and pushed me down a hill on it. I broke my arm. And I'm already clumsy enough on plain ground without wheels on my feet. This is gearing up to be a disaster.

The closer we get to the skating rink the more nervous I get. What was I thinking?

"How long do you wanna stay, Baz?" I ask, hoping it'll be a short time and we can waste some of it at the cafe.

"We have to leave at 4" he says. That was a quick response. My gaze flicks to the clock; it's already 2. By the time we arrive, get skates, and buy food we will only have to be on the rink for 45 minutes. If I use my bathroom breaks appropriately I can probably get away with just 30 minutes of actual skating. I can handle that. I think.

**Baz**

We pull into the parking lot and I'm more nervous than I was when I came out to my father. Ok maybe that's an understatement but I am really not looking forward to this. The only thing I have going for me is that Snow is the clumsiest person I know, so he can't be that good. I hope. I just have to keep him here until 4 and then we can go to his party. I just have to keep him distracted for a little over one more hour. I can do that...right?

**Simon**

I grab Baz's hand as we walk into the rink and rent our skates. His palm is abnormally clammy and it makes me feel a little better that he's nervous too. I can feel his gaze lingering on me as we strap the danger shoes on to our feet.

"Who thought this was a good idea? Who thought, "oh yes, let's put wheels on shoes and then run?!" I babble, hoping to draw out the time spent on my bum and off my feet.

Baz smirks up at me through his black bangs (Penny has taken to calling them 'goth locks' which is apparently amusing, but Baz and I don't understand) and I have to take a second because the way he looks at me still makes me dizzy sometimes. I can't cast spells anymore, but I don't care because he's my magic now.

"Bloody Normals, that's who," Baz replies, effectively snapping me out of my vampire filled daydream.

I snort.

"Alright, Snow, are we doing this or what?"

If Baz was capable of being nervous I think he may be nervous right now.

"Yeah, let's go!"

And with that Baz stands up onto his skates, turns to reach for my hand and falls, landing flat on his ass. I burst out laughing as all of the blood in his vampire body rushes to his face. He slaps his hands on the ground and kicks his feet out trying to get off the floor but ends up looking like an alcoholic donkey. A _vampire _alcoholic donkey.

Once I've had my fill of humililating him (it's not often he makes a fool of himself) I decide to help him up but instead of find myself dropping onto the floor next to him, his hand wrapped around my wrist and now he's emitting a sound that can only be described as giggling.

"Crowley, Baz, that hurt," I yelp, but I'm too busy reveling in the way his eyes are lit up to really try and convince him I'm hurt. In all the years we lived together, I never knew he could laugh like this.

After a couple more minutes of breathless laughter and weird looks from people passing by, we perched ourselves up against the bench we had been sitting on, Baz's arm slung around my shoulder.

"Have you ever skated before, Snow?" he asks.

"I fell down putting on my socks this morning, you twat, of course not. I just didn't want to say no to you." I feel Baz's puff of laughter as he drops his head down on to my shoulder.

"Let's go home, Simon"

**Baz**

I did it! Bunce is going to be so impressed that I've done something right. And we didn't even have to skate. Although I am going to have quite the bruise on my arse tomorrow and I'm sure Snow will too. After we managed to get those horrible contraptions off our feet, I bought Snow a cherry slushie and we were on our way home. I didn't even really mean to, and yet I've timed it perfectly right. We should be back home right at 4:00.

I glance over at Simon, mindlessly slurping his excessively sugary drink (I stole a sip and I don't see what is so damned appealing about those things) and I smile.

When we get back to the flat I send Bunce a quick last minute heads up text and then pull Simon into a kiss just to be safe. I think I start to see the appeal of artifical cherry flavor after tasting it on his lips.

Finally after a few minutes I pull away, pointedly resisting his pout and grab his hand to pull him inside. I don't remember the last time I've felt like this. Nervous and achingly happy all tangled together. I'm giddy.

I rush Snow the rest of the way to the door before he can pick up on my odd behavior and swing the door open...

**Simon**

"SURPRISE!"

The sudden flash of light and loud noise triggers the response I normally have to an upcoming battle and I go to get my sword but instead only throw the rest of my slushie onto the carpet.

"Alaster Crowley!" I curse, taking in the sight before me. It looks as if Penny has decided to have a party and has also decided that this party calls for all of the streamers on this side of the planet.

Baz's arm wraps around my waste and Penny is over enthusiastically shoving a cake in front of my face.

"Happy Birthday, Simon!" she squeals. She has streamers in her hair and one coming out of her shirt sleeve.

My heart drops out of my ribcage. Baz hugs me a little closer.

"Happy Birthday, Snow," his words tickle my ear and somehow they must have made their way through my head because I feel little pinpricks at the back of my eyes.

"This is for me?" I whisper, not allowing my voice to get any louder, refusing to let them know how this is affecting me, "but how? It's not my birthday, I don't have a birthday, it's not..." I trail off when I feel the emotion threatening to bubble over.

Baz presses a kiss to my cheek and at some point Penny put the cake down because now she's hugging me so hard I think I might pop. For such a small person, she is surprisingly strong. The pressure of her arms around me helps clear my head.

"Of course it is, Simon! I wouldn't use my good streamers for anyone else!"

I'm equal parts impressed, not shocked, and horribly concerned that she was in possession of this amount of streamers BEFORE deciding to throw a party.

"We decided that since you don't really know when you're birthday is, any day could be your birthday and today is as good as any. So, today we're going to celebrate you, because we love you and you deserve it." Baz says, eyes locked onto mine the whole time, words only slipping up slightly when he says 'love'. We've never said that before.

I'm definitely crying now but so are Baz and Penny and I don't feel so bad about it. We cry for a couple minutes and they hug me and kiss me (only Baz partakes in that one) until Penny proclaims that this is a lame party and turns on her 'Party Tunes'.

We spend the rest of the night eating too much cake, playing games, and watching movies. I've never felt so loved. I've never understood the desire to celebrate a birthday, but now I do.

**Epilogue/Baz**

As we all start to crash from the sugar high from the cake, Simon pulls me aside as Penny is busy setting up a very complicated pinata.

He grabs my hands and I plant a kiss in his golden curls that remind me of the sun. And then because I love this boy I kiss all the freckles I can reach until he's giggling and Penny yells at us to get a room.

Before we go back to the living room, he leans up on his tip toes and whispers to me, punctuating each word with a kiss, one to my forehead one to my nose, and finally one to my lips:

"Best. Birthday. Ever."

**(a/n) Sorry if this kind of felt like it had an awkward second plot with the whole skating thing I kinda got carried away in the middle.**


End file.
